


Distractions

by hope-for-olicity (Jacq)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Flashbacks, Mental Anguish, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 11:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10306553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacq/pseuds/hope-for-olicity
Summary: Based on the spoilers for 5x20





	

**Author's Note:**

> What could happen if the spoilers for 5x20 are accurate and there is flashback sex in 4.5. 
> 
> Thanks so much to @almondblossomme as this story came out of our conversation and she was kind enough to proof this for me.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters they are the property of Arrow.

_July 2016_

 

Clang, clang, clang

 

Felicity had tried focusing on her work, she had tried headphones but short of actually leaving the lair she could not ignore the beautiful sight that was Oliver Queen on the salmon ladder, shirtless. The man was dripping in sweat. What was he trying to do to her??

 

Oliver tried to hide his smirk he knew exactly what watching him on the salmon ladder did to Felicity. Otherwise, he would at least put a shirt on. But she always looks so sad, she tries to hide it but he knows her. How he wishes he could help her but that clearly isn’t his place anymore as the ex-fiancee. He jumps down, towels himself off, as he wipes the towel over his face he sneaks a peek and yes Felicity is watching.

 

Felicity can’t help but think how nice it would be just have that. She knows Oliver would never refuse her and maybe it would help her forget, just for a little while. She quickly shook her head, she didn’t deserve to forget. She was a murderer. She should be punished. She had even considered turning herself in - but she quickly realized that it also put Oliver at risk and she could never do that.

 

So lost in thought she didn’t hear Oliver come up on the landing in his Arrow suit.

 

“Hey,” he said softy. Oliver knew how jumpy she was lately.

 

Felicity jumped anyway and knocked an empty coffee cup off the table, Oliver quickly caught it before it even hit the floor. “Still have those awesome reflexes I see,” she smiled at him. Pretending everything was okay.

 

Oliver knew the smile was for his benefit and it killed him that she couldn’t be honest with him. But he’d lost the right to expect her confidence when he betrayed her trust. “I’m going to head out. Check out that area where that street gang has been causing problems lately. Just recon. I’ll call in if I need help Overwatch.”

 

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll be here Green Arrow.” Oliver waved and Felicity watched him head toward his Ducati. She waited until she heard the sound of the bike in the distance and turned back to her computers.

 

She quickly pulled up another Facebook page. It wasn’t easy to find information on an entire dead city. Not many people left to post obits but Facebook profiles, turns out they are everlasting. She looked for all those who were living in Havenrock and looked at their profiles: their pictures of friends and family, their interests - she wanted to know each and everyone of her victims.

 

She hit upon the profile of Emily Rose. Emily was a single mother with a four year old daughter named Claire. Claire was adorable. And suddenly it was too much. She began to sob for the life Emily and Claire would never have. The life they would never have because she killed them.

 

She was crying so hard she didn’t hear Oliver come back. Oliver had a gut feeling that he should come back. He didn’t know why but he decided to obey it. As soon as he parked the bike he heard it. Felicity’s moans and sobs. Her pain. She, his Felicity was in agony, it physically hurt him to hear the sounds of her cries.  He had known she was not okay but this, this was far worst than he had expected.

 

Oliver cautiously walked back into the lair. It was clear Felicity still didn’t know he was there. He looked at her from behind, she looked like a shell of herself. Where had his strong, brave, confident Felicity gone? He wanted to go gather her in his arm and promise that everything was going to be okay. But she wouldn’t want that and he knew that would never be true.

 

So he did the next best thing. The thing he would do if she were a friend like John, he grabbed the good Russian vodka and two glasses.

 

Felicity was so consumed in her own grief she didn’t hear him come up on the landing. He quietly laid down his supplies and went to her. “Felicity,” she didn’t hear him or ignored him, he wasn’t sure.

 

“Fel-ici-ty” he said softly. He knew it was dirty to use his old tricks to get her attention but he really didn’t want to scare her.

 

“Oliver,” she slowly raised her head, she took off her glasses and wiped the tears from her eyes, she looked around for a tissue, Oliver held one out, she wiped her nose and eyes. “Oliver I’m so sorry, a moment of weakness. You didn’t try to reach me, did you?” Might as well try to downplay this, if at all possible.

 

“No. And Felicity you can have as many moments of weakness as you want. You have been through more than most experience in a lifetime in a year.  Here,” Oliver turned and poured them each a glass of vodka, turned back to hand her one.

 

“No mix?” Felicity tried to joke.

 

“You still don’t have to be funny for me Felicity.” he said seriously.

 

“Okay, what should we drink to?” Felicity said her voice still raw from crying.

 

“Friends?” Oliver couldn’t help question. Is that what they were now. It felt so empty. Felicity was the love of his life. Not just a friend.

 

Felicity thought about it for a minute, Oliver would never be just a friend, then raised her glass. “To friends.”

  
They both quickly shot back their vodka. Oliver reacted as though he had just drank water, he’d become accustomed to vodka while being part of the Bratva. Felicity on the other hand, was a regular human, she let out a litany of swear words. Before finally settling on “Damn it Oliver are you trying to kill me?”

 

Oliver couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, you never had any problem shooting tequila in Bali, I thought you’d be fine with this.”

 

“That tequila had nothing on this!” She looked down at her glass. Then held out again. “More, please.”

 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem to like it the first time.”

 

“Yes, it was a distraction. I want more. Please.”

 

Oliver poured them each another glass. As he handed Felicity her glass, he took the opportunity to really look at her. She was so beautiful. But she had also lost weight she couldn’t afford to lose and she looked like she hadn’t slept in a while the dark circles were starting to show especially now that her tears had washed away some of her make up. He wondered when was the last time she’d eaten.

 

Felicity took the glass of the awful vodka from Oliver. God it was terrible. But it did provide an escape. An escape she didn’t deserve but one that she was going to take. Maybe she could drink herself to sleep. Maybe that would stop the nightmares. She knew Oliver was looking at her. She caught him doing that often. He still cared which was sweet but she didn’t deserve it. She shot her second glass of vodka.

 

Oliver noticed less curses this time. But he didn’t think she liked it any better. He drank his shot and went to put the vodka away.

 

“No! No, where you going? Bring it back!” Felicity said a little too desperately.

 

“Okay, one more and then you are cut off Felicity.” Oliver said sternly.

 

She nodded solemnly.

 

He poured them each another glass. He knew even he would start feeling it after this next glass. But if this provided Felicity some mild relief who was he to stand in the way.

 

Oliver turned and handed Felicity her glass and noticed the the Facebook profile up on Felicity screen for the first time. “Who is Emily Rose?”

 

Felicity eyes again welled with tears. She quickly shot back her vodka. “No one….not no one of course she is someone. I knew her in college.” But Felicity knew Oliver wasn’t buying her story.

Oliver looked closer. He saw that she was from Havenrock and it suddenly hit him what she was doing. “Felicity are you looking at the Facebook profiles of the people from Havenrock?” Oh my god...he didn’t know what to do because he knew the answer.

 

“Felicity, oh Felicity! Come here!” He didn’t care anymore if it was proper or the right thing to do. He needed to comfort her. Felicity was in so much pain and she was inflicting more upon herself.

 

At first Felicity was able to resist Oliver. “No, Oliver don’t you see I don’t deserve comfort. Emily and Claire Rose aren’t going to get comfort.” The tears started to stream down her face again.

 

Oliver knew it was wrong but he had to comfort her. His wonderful, good Felicity thought she deserved to be punished. He hauled her into his arms, it was like suddenly the fight went out of her and Felicity sagged against Oliver and he just let her cry.

 

He rubbed her back and hoped he was providing some comfort. He would have offered words but he wasn’t sure Felicity was ready or wanted to hear them. So he offered himself, his body as a form of comfort.

 

Felicity promised she’d only let him hold her for a minute. She didn’t deserve it but she could have a minute of feeling comforted. She knew it as wrong. She pulled back for a moment and looked in his eyes. She was shocked to see the love and concerned reflected in them. She knew she should run. She could feel herself sinking. He was right there, she just wanted to kiss him.

 

And the next thing she knew, she was kissing him and it was glorious. It was like the thing she needed most in life that she didn’t know she needed. She moaned.

 

Oliver kissed her back. How could he not kiss her back? She needed him and he would be here for her. He was ignoring the voice in his head reminding him, he was not drunk and this was wrong. He was taking advantage of a vulnerable woman. He should stop this now. Then he heard her moan and he was done for.

 

*****

 

A short while later as Felicity was picking up her clothes off the floor next to the conference room table she knew she had made a huge mistake on so many levels.

 

She felt like crying all over again. It wasn’t that the sex was bad. Sex with Oliver could never be bad. It’s that she didn’t deserve to feel that good and now she had confused Oliver. She could never go back to him and she had just slept with him. She was going to hurt him.

 

Oliver had gone into the locker room to put different clothes on, he wasn’t going to put the Arrow suit back on. He felt so guilty. What a horrible friend he was. She was vulnerable and he took advantage of her for his own needs. What kind of person does that?

When he came back out Felicity was straightening her clothes. She thought it was best to be honest right away. “Oliver listen, I don’t want there to be any confusion.”

 

“Me either. Felicity I’m so sorry…”

 

“No, you don’t have any reason to be sorry Oliver. This is on me. I’m sorry. I pushed.”

 

“Felicity, you didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to. But I should have stopped it. Felicity…”

 

“Okay, let’s just think of it as a slip up.” She looked to Oliver for agreement.

 

“Okay.”

 

“So we will just pretend this didn’t happen.”

 

“Okay, but Felicity we need to talk about Havenrock.”

 

“NO.” She practically shouted in her loud voice.

 

Oliver looked a little shocked.

 

“Havenrock is my problem. I’m working on it. Please leave me be with it. Please,” she was practically begging.

 

“Okay, I won’t bring it up but can you promise to come to me if you ever feel like it’s becoming too much? I’m here Felicity and I want to be here for you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

*****

  


_April 2017_

 

It had been almost a year since they had been in such close quarters. Stuck in an elevator. How cliche.

 

Oliver had deliberately halted them between floors, with the office space below and lair above, to avoid getting caught. He had recently been outed as the Green Arrow and now Felicity and he were on the run. To her credit she had yet to say I told you so when it came to Susan.

 

He was actually surprised when Felicity agreed to run with him. It’s not as though her name was being broadcasted worldwide. And now they were sitting in the cramped elevator waiting to make their next move. He looked over at Felicity. She looked so tired. So many times he’d wanted to ask if she was okay but the only time he had since that night she blew him off.

 

Poor Oliver, after everything she tried to do to protect him, joining Helix to help take down Prometheus and now he was hurt anyway. She had underestimated Susan. Her gut told her she was trouble but she thought it was jealousy and Oliver insisted he had it under control.

And now they were stuck in this elevator alone.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Oliver asked. There wasn’t much light in the stopped elevator, only emergency power so he squinted looking over at Felicity seated on the floor.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Sure? Felicity we are stuck in an elevator on the run for our lives and you are fine?” Oliver was clearly frustrated. “Why don’t you just tell me the truth?”

 

Felicity didn’t know if it was because she was tired or because Oliver brought up the the truth but she snapped. “The truth? Oliver that is a bit rich - ALL puns intended, coming from you! WE don’t do the truth, or did you forget?  We stopped the truth a long time ago. It was the reason we broke up and then when it crept out in July we swept it under the rug.”

 

“July?!” Oliver head popped up and his voice rose. “How dare you bring up July we both agreed not to talk about that. You can’t pin that on me? I know taking advantage of you was wrong but I didn’t lie about anything else that night or since.”

 

“Well I did.” She said glumly.

 

“You did what?” He tried to see her face in the darkness. “Felicity, what did you do?”

 

“There is no need to talk about it now.” She was trying to talk herself backward even though she knew it was impossible.

 

“We are going to talk about it now Felicity. I’ve followed your rules long enough - since July actually and I’m tired of them. I want to know how you are? I want to know what is going on with you and don’t tell me NOTHING.” Oliver knew this might be the only moment he could force answers out of her - trapped in an elevator.

 

“Calm down Oliver! You don’t have to act like you care all of a sudden.” Felicity knew it was a low blow. She knew Oliver would always care about her but she was trying to distract him. She wasn’t ready to talk because she honestly had no idea how Oliver was going to take it and it’s not like she could storm out.

 

Oliver took a deep breathe. “Felicity you know I care. You do right?” he peered at her through the darkness and saw her nod her head. “I know what you are doing. I know all about distractions. I know you are worried about telling me about whatever it is you are hiding but I’m not going anywhere - literally” he winked at her even though he knew she probably couldn’t see it.

 

“I know Oliver. But it’s just hard to talk about.”

 

“Felicity, I am the last person who should be pushing someone else to spill their secrets, especially after you have shown such patience with mine. But your secrets are eating you inside and I worry about some of your recent decisions. I love you Felicity and I hate watching you go through this alone.”

 

It was the I love you that broke her. She suspected he might still love her, he had said always, but then there was Susan and she told him to move on. What if he didn’t love her once he saw the real her? She was no longer his light.  

 

“Felicity, I can practically hear you thinking. Please baby, talk to me.” He reached out and took her hand. When she didn’t pull away, he took this as a good sign.

 

“Okay where should I start?”

 

“Anywhere you feel comfortable.” he wait for her to speak. “Okay, how about something simple, how are you?”

 

“Tired.”

 

He could sense this was going to be a long process. “Okay, tired. Have you been sleeping?”

 

“No, not much. I haven’t been sleeping for a long time.”

 

“Since Billy died?”

 

“No before that.”

 

“Before that as in….”

 

Silence.

 

“Felicity, come on, why aren’t you sleeping? Did you ever go talk to someone about Havenrock?” He felt her try to tug her hand away and he held it tighter. Struck a nerve. He knew he would.

 

“Yes it’s about Havenrock, no I haven’t talked to anyone. I told you I’m handling it.” Felicity snapped at him.

 

“Felicity that clearly isn’t working. How about you talk to me? I promise not to judge you.”

 

“I’ll think about it.” she said quietly.

 

Oliver knew that was probably the best he could do with that one. “Okay how about you tell the long story about how you helped John get out of prison that led to joining Helix.”

 

“I didn’t realize you knew the group’s name.”

 

“John told me some of it but Felicity, I need to hear it from you.”

 

“It happened when you were in Hub City getting Dinah, the group Helix contacted me through my old Hacker name and offered me intel to help John. I met a member of Helix and she gave me the Pandora key. The key contents had information about everyone you can imagine and could be used to bring down a lot of bad people.”

 

“So you saw it as a way to help?”

 

“Yes! I need to make amends for what I did. I can never bring those people back but I have to do something. Helix offered me that opportunity.”

 

“So you joined them? To help fight bad people?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Was Team Arrow not doing enough? I’m confused.”

 

“Team Arrow wasn’t getting anywhere with our fight against Prometheus. I was seeing the toll it was taking on you. I needed to help you. So I joined Helix.”

 

“Okay.” Oliver took another breath. “First let me say I totally understand what you did and why. I just have one more question.”

 

“Just one more?”

 

“Maybe two, but I’ll ask them together”

 

“Okay”

 

“Did you realize how dark Helix was when you joined them? Did you think they could be connected to Prometheus?”

 

“Yes, I did realize they were dark but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I learned that from you. Secondly, no I don’t think they are connected with Prometheus. Why do you think they are?”

 

“I have my suspicions.”

 

“What happens now?” she couldn’t hide the concern in her voice.

 

“Now we move forward.”

 

“Oliver, we are stuck in an elevator.”

 

“Always with the jokes. I meant we move forward together.”

 

“Together? Oliver are you saying what I think you are saying?”

 

He smiled and it almost lit up the dark elevator. “Yes, Felicity Smoak you heard me right together. I am yours. In whatever way you will have me. I tried everything to distract myself from you. I dated Susan Williams! I’m done with distractions. So even if we move forward as platonic friends - I’m moving forward with you. You are no longer alone.”

 

“Well, I don’t know how good I’d be at being platonic friends with you. The last time we tried that we ended up losing our clothes. How about we take things slow. I love you Oliver. I never stopped. But I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m not okay.”

 

Oliver leaned forward and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her forehead. “It’s okay that you are not okay Felicity. We are going to work on that together. We are in this together from here on out. There will be no more distractions.”

 

“No more salmon ladder?” Felicity started to giggle.

 

“Well maybe one distraction.” Oliver couldn’t help but laugh too.

 

And suddenly, maybe it was the tension or all the emotions - they were both laughing. They leaned into one another trying to keep quiet. After a while Felicity realized Oliver had become very quiet. She looked up and he was looking down at her with so much love in his eyes. Felicity could resist, she boosted herself up to meet his lips.

 

It was a kiss with a promise of things to come. Because they both knew that they were heading forward together.


End file.
